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What happens when you put feelings into words, listen to your inner voice and change the way you respond to yourself
Have you ever noticed that saying something out loud can make it feel a little easier to carry?
Maybe you finally find the words for something that has been sitting with you for days. Perhaps you tell someone, ‘I’m overwhelmed,’ ‘I’m angry,’ or simply, ‘I’m not okay today.’ Sometimes, finding the right words changes the experience of the moment.
We all have an inner conversation, too. It can be kind and reassuring, critical and demanding, or simply a running commentary on everything happening around us. What we say about our experiences, whether out loud or silently to ourselves, is part of how we process emotion.
Language, emotion and the body are closely connected. Sometimes putting an experience into words can change how a difficult moment feels.
Putting Feelings into Words
There is something very simple about saying, ‘I feel frightened,’ or ‘I’m really angry.’ Yet giving an emotion a name can involve much more than choosing a few words.
Research into emotional verbalisation has found that putting an emotional experience into words can be accompanied by measurable changes in autonomic arousal.
Sometimes, finding the right words can be the first step towards making sense of what is happening beneath the surface.
Giving an Emotion a Name
You may have come across the term ‘affect labelling’. It simply means putting an emotional experience into words.
Putting an emotion into words can also bring a little more structure to an experience that initially feels overwhelming.
Putting feelings into words brings language into the emotional process itself. It can be a simple way of slowing down and identifying what you are actually feeling.
Your Inner Voice Matters Too
You do not need to say anything out loud for words to affect your experience. Most of us have an almost constant inner voice.
You might tell yourself, ‘I can handle this.’ You might hear, ‘I’m going to get this wrong.’ Or perhaps your inner voice is more practical: ‘One thing at a time.’
Your inner voice deserves attention, too. The words you use silently with yourself can become part of how you experience a difficult moment.
It can be useful to notice whether your inner voice tends to reassure you, push you or make you feel more under pressure.
When the Words Do Not Come Easily
Talking is not the only way to process a difficult experience. Sometimes writing gives you the space to slow down and say what you could not quite explain in conversation.
Writing can provide another way to slow down and put words around an experience that is difficult to explain in conversation.
Writing cannot turn every difficult experience into a neat answer. But it can create a place to put words around what has happened, what you are feeling and what you are carrying.
What This Can Look Like in Everyday Life
You may notice that you keep telling yourself, ‘I cannot cope.’
You may find that anger, fear or sadness tends to get pushed aside until it eventually comes out as tension, irritability or exhaustion.
You may replay the same situation in your head without ever quite naming what hurt, what frightened you or what you actually need.
Or you may simply feel ready to change the way you speak to yourself, but have no idea where to begin.
Becoming more aware of these patterns can be a useful part of understanding emotional wellbeing and the mind-body connection.
A More Supportive Way to Work with Yourself
At The Forbes Clinic, we recognise that emotional wellbeing is not separate from the rest of your health. Sometimes the work is about finding words for what you are feeling. Sometimes it is about changing long-standing patterns, building self-belief or learning to respond differently when life feels difficult.
- Kate Gare offers Transformational Coaching, working with emotional patterns, mindset and behaviour, overthinking and burnout cycles, confidence and self-belief, resilience and personal agency.
- Maria Trindade offers Integrated Health Coaching, with a focus on behavioural change, purpose and meaning, and mental and emotional self-regulation.
- Dr Ayiesha Malik is an ACT Therapist who works with stress, trauma and mental health, self-esteem and mind-body medicine for chronic illness, as well as chronic pain and migraine.
- Laura Alexander offers Integrative Hypnotherapy, supporting people with behavioural patterns, stress, anxiety, sleep, pain, self-esteem and empowerment.
Finding the Right Support
There is no single way to work with your inner world. The right approach depends on what you are experiencing, what you want to change and the kind of support that feels appropriate for you.
Explore the Forbes Clinic support that may be right for you:
- Transformational Coaching with Kate Gare
- Integrated Health Coaching with Maria Trindade
- Acceptance & Commitment Therapy with Dr Ayiesha Malik
- Integrative Hypnotherapy with Laura Alexander
The Takeaway
Putting feelings into words, naming an emotion and noticing your inner voice can be simple, everyday ways of paying attention to what is happening within you.
For many people, becoming more aware of what they feel, finding language for it and paying attention to the way they speak to themselves can be a meaningful part of wider wellbeing.
References
- Matejka et al. Talking about emotion: prosody and skin conductance indicate emotion regulation. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3684505/
- Wallentin et al. Heart Talk: Emotional Inner Speech Increases Heart Rate. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12409695/
- Lieberman et al. Putting feelings into words: affect labelling disrupts amygdala activity. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17576282/
- Smyth et al. Writing about stressful experiences in asthma or rheumatoid arthritis: randomized trial. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10208146/
